I keep seeing possessive new years resolutions stuff around the place. 2020 is going to be MY year. MINE. My precioussss …
I mean sure it’s good to go into the future with a positive outlook, but I kinda think we need a culture that understands fresh starts isn’t just an annual event; it’s a daily one for most of us. Regular clean slates help us keep free from looking back towards mistakes/shame. We need them all the bloody time though, let’s not just pause once per year and go “Oh snap I messed EVERYTHING up for 12 months!” – let’s keep shorter accounts, right? Let’s avoid consuming time like it’s some sort of Nougat that someone else has hoarded. 2019 belonged to X person, 2020 will be MIIIINE I shall CONSUME it like a yeasty wheelbarrow of figs waaahhhhh.
Anyway my New Years resolution is to get something on Urban Dictionary. I know, I’m super grown up and totally understand wise things and stuff, but I’ve always wanted to get something into a [fake] dictionary. So … I’ve submitted a definition for Nasty Butler (because there wasn’t one), so we’ll see if it gets allowed …
What’s your new years resolution? To ignore stupid cultural traditions amirite?!
EDIT: oh my god my definition got rejected!!!!! Gutted. My only new years resolution and I’ve been rejected. This sucks. 2020 is not mine after all, boo! The definition I submitted was: A sexual position requiring the majority of the props from Cluedo, and exercised in either a Library or a Ballroom. eg: “Geoffrey, where DID you get these bruises?” – “I spent the afternoon in the Civic Library with Anastasia” – “Not … you didn’t … Nasty Butler?!” – “The very same.”
– I think it was a bit too wordy and over complex.
EDIT EDIT: Right I’ve submitted another one, I’ll be damned if I don’t get one through, as discussed 2020 will be MY YEAR MINE I TELL YOU MWAHAHAHAAAAA
EDITEDITEDIT: Omg it got through on the 2nd attempt after I changed it! Wahoooooo!!!!! Definition will appear here in a few hrs: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nasty+Butler 2020 is miiiiiiinnneeeee
