This is mostly a bunch of renders with our young couple to test new lighting and skin. And a massive rambling discussion on the topic of hate and love as well, sure, sure.
I had a really interesting few chats with some very difficult humans recently, and the wonderful thing I discovered, is that love **literally** cannot be argued against nor silenced, even when it is quiet and relentlessly gentle! It’s extraordinary! I’ve never come across it like this before, as long as you’re genuinely loving and not just acting loving (as I often do because I’m a part-time bellend); situations completely defused by total grace; arguments and confusion and people trapped – all gently undone by the simplicity of the message of true love.
Kindness is often sneered at, but it’s seriously advanced, an extraordinary broadsword when wielded well. No idea why, and I certainly won’t take credit, but I’m freaking sticking with it as a basic message from now on. If I can manage!
This all started with some guy totally going off on one about his Youtube ‘facts’ stuff he was proud of (predictable anger stuff blah blah blah). And the associated eye-rolling, subtle hatred, subtle what-about, and rather non-subtle us-vs-them stuff that tends to go along with hatred. Lots of it on youtube. Very addictive because it resonates with any unresolved anger in our own lives.
Which makes it easy to understand when people are addicted to it, because it zings certain parts of the brain with certain chemicals that make you think you’re in control of that old traumatic stuff. Woopsy daisy Mary Poppins-sah! Cor blimey I done a unresolved-trauma wot-wot, these shouty humans make me feel good Mary Poppinssssss …ssss … sssahhhhh.
People at least have learnt that they can’t use obvious racism or sexism without getting into trouble, so the ego instead desperately goes along with the “Facts don’t care about your feelings” thing in order to excuse nastiness of all sorts, which entirely ignores the truth that we [humans] perceive facts in entirely different ways due to our own immensely complex filters and traumas a-go-go.
The ego seems tempted to avoid blame for hurting someone’s feelings, because deep down we can’t bear the idea that we have hurt someone [part of being human, can’t be denied – and it’s because we’re FUCKING and I choose my words carefully WONDERFUL!!!]. And the path of hatred seeks increasingly complex schemes in order to cover what, really, is a hurting ego.
An old shame. A dark regret.
I cannot bear to have hurt that human, who can I blame? Who can I direct my turmoil towards?
But love seems to exclaim (1) we get fresh starts. Full stop. (2) there is no ‘them’, so if you’re angry at ‘them’ then that should be ringing alarm bells, not least because anger should be a short-term tool and never a long-term identity, (3) our extraordinary value does not change, and (4) see (1).
And sometimes we need others to help us see how to get these fresh starts, but that’s ok, that’s not a failure, it’s a wonder of connection. The world is a mystery, and a joy. And so are you. And you get a fresh start. And I will be saying this to myself first, before I say it to anyone else.
Here’s a bunch of random test renders to get the apartment ready for the final bunch of scenes for LITHIUM COMIC FUCKING EIGHT!!! WAHOOOOOOO no it’s not imminent, but it is bloody marvelous. Rather lovely to have these two randomly lounging on the sofa for me, made it much easier to test lighting and new skin setup! Thanks, kids!
^ 2nd test render once I’d sorted the materials out: – it’s been so long since I’ve booted up this scene in daylight that the wooden table had gone yellow! Ridiculous, I blame UV light ageing the varnish, myself. Spock looking magnificent as always.
“Why is your skin yellow?”
“Why is your shoulder poking through your tshirt?”
“Why are you shut up?”
“Uhhuhurrr great comeback hurrr hurrrrrr.”
“Seriously, what the hell is going on with your skin?”
“Sindy just whacked young Steph’s skin on me because it contains some serious subsurface upgrades”
“And lipstick?”
“It’s a bit much along with the eyeshadow, sure, sure. How’s your shoulder feeling?”
“Bit of a sensitive subject. My elbow’s aching too, for some reason.”
“Better makeup?”
“Err yeah but we both had a veeerrryyy slight tan, so …”
“Hold on I’ll sort it out SINDYYYYY SORT US OUT WHAT THE HELLLLL”
“Thanks.”
“Welcome.
“Ahhhh, much better. And I prefer your outfit, sis.”
“Yeah, my knickers, they just … pop! Gone. And the room seems warmer; more 4pm than 11am.”
“I don’t know who this Sindy is but DAMN.”
“Right, we ready for the scene? I’m good to go.”
“We’re not in this scene.”
“… the hell are you talking about?”
“Yeah no we’ve got the wrong outfits on, these are our comfortable outfits from the last comic, remember? Sindy’s going to use differently-clothed models and chuck our skin on them.”
“Shit. Brutal!”
“We’re not real though, so.”
“Speak for yourself, dickhead!”
“Hehehh.”
This is mostly a bunch of renders with our young couple to test new lighting and skin. And a massive rambling discussion on the topic of hate and love as well, sure, sure.
