Gawd bless ‘er! I mean ‘im!

Sindy Anna Jones264 mins

Okay, as you may know I originally hail from the great and slightly iffy country of England, and so this last weekend was a major one because … you know, kings and crowns and pedestals and service and madness and all that. And I do currently find myself within these blessed shores. I don’t have anything against the Royal Family (apart from Prince Andrew, obviously), I’m just … not sure the country is in a particularly good place right now (just ask the Red Cross, or the UN), and frothing ALLEGIANCE does seem slightly bizarre.

Fortunately, I have some wonderful friends who invited me to stay by the beach instead. So … I’ve been doing that. Eahhhhh, far from the madding crowd, is there a better place? No. No there is not.

Funny moment when someone said “Great to be off-grid like this” ~ and I know what they mean, you know out of the influence of the mayhem of cities, or the gossip of village life and just opt out from social media and social events and all that.

But seriously, seriously people use the phrase ‘off grid’ far too much these days. If you have wifi it’s not off grid. If you have easy access to fresh water … nope. If you keep your credit card close and are concerned about toothpaste and are 100% impervious to animal attack … non. In my mind, off grid means absolutely, entirely sans grid. It means sitting at the highest place of a moor and keeping warm by an open fire as you read a beaten up old copy of Voznesenskey’s work. Know what I mean?

It means foraging a cigarette and eating something you can heat up on that bit of old bark you pulled from the head of a decaying sheep, it means tying burlap to your naked bones and wandering, eyes-closed, into the purple mists of pre-dawn, shrieking about the tenets of mystery itself, because you ate too many of those mushrooms you found growing out of your own armpit.

And because I hold these sorts of opinions, I really appreciate it when friends invite me along with them on their holidays. Friends, eh? Love. Gawd bless ‘im. If my friends can forgive my madness, perhaps I can forgive ‘is.

26 thoughts on “Gawd bless ‘er! I mean ‘im!”

  1. I watched the coronation. Am i a supporter of the monarchy? Not really…am i a supporter of anything worth celebrating that doesn’t hurt people? Sure, the last time this happened was before most of us were born.
    And besides all of that, it seems I am the only person who noticed “boob hat lady”, and that made everything worth while…

      1. She’s sitting behind the Dutch king…at some point she’s even scratching her hat-nipple

  2. Oh beautiful “off grid”…yeah. The reason it means “offline” and not “wilderness”, is that most of the stuff in the wilderness will kill you. That’s why we invented houses. Yeah, okay, I have not mentioned caves, but… did caves realy get “invented”?
    Anyhow. If you realise the danger of death by freezing, death of thirst, death by infection, death by childish animals, death by dying (you get the idea)…you quickly understand that civilisation has it upsides. And I feel lucky to have long lifespan due to surgery (I guess).
    But, while not taking the credit for your inspiration, I still wand to notice that right now I am in the outskirts of Australia, and sending this message by bora-bora…just saying…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Kf_RYVt2XQ

  3. I watched as well – and LISTENED! The music alone was quite worth the show, indeed. Being a “heir” to Saxe-Coburg and Gotha (the lands, not the Nobles, part of whom once changed their names to Windsor), I am not much into Royal affairs, merely fascinated how centuries old tradition comes to life for a moment. In a way that ceremony was an off-grid event in itself, like an irregularity in time/space (looking from far away anyway). Most fascinating though: everybody remained serious while their new Emperors – well they were not naked, sure, BUT they both wore richly decorated, heavy weight and upside down chamber pots on their heads, didn’t they?

  4. I go camping with a few friends every year to a spot with no phone service, no electricity and no running water. Just us in the woods with a fire to keep warm. There is something magical about being away from the conveniences of life. One friend commented that we spend literally hundreds of quid to be able to be off grid for a weekend. Yet as awesome as it is there, without the friends it would be crushingly lonely just me and my dog eared copy of Dogopolis.

      1. Yeah that sounds great! Something magical indeed. Perhaps I’m craving the outdoors after all this winter nonsense we seem to get in engerland.

  5. I’m glad I live in the US where we don’t have a monarch. Lots of other problems.

    1. Actually too many problems that could be readily solved if we didn’t have a doddering old “woke” puppet tyrant in charge of this mess, trying to rule by “Executive Order” (read: decree)! HEY!! I just had a great idea! Let’s all get together and elect Kari Lake POTUS! This lady has a very sharp mind, and the plans she had in mind for Arizona will work for the entire country! Plus, everyone knows women have superior organizational skills, (note almost all [successful] event planners are women), ergo; she would have the good ol’ US of A shipshape in no time, whereas the men are too busy trying to prove who has the bigger dick to give proper attention to running the Country, eh Wot?

      1. Kari Lake is a fucking lunatic. The only tyrant in the picture is the former one who got convicted of sexual assault Tuesday and has to pay $5 million to his victim. If rational, unradicalized people were in Clowngress, Joseph Biden wouldn’t need to be issuing executive orders. Fuck off with that bullshit.

        Go back to MAGAstan, Fred. ANTIFA means Anti-Fascist. Against Fascism. Are you a Fascist, Fred?

        1. I must confess to being a little ‘woke’ and anti fascist myself, it must be all the … you know, history of oppression and police brutality and misuse of privilege and such. Ahh, the media, eh? Get a bunch of well-funded tossers into a shouting match and people think they need to pick the one that shouts the most. Oh dear.
          All of that stuff aside, let’s keep the comments thread civil, shall we? Unless our dear ol’ Fred specifically says anything against poc/minorities or genders (beyond everyday sexism), I’m sure nobody needs to get expunged 🙂

          1. My most sincere apologies to you Sindy! It just pains me dearly to see the country I love and love served for twelve years in the military, and over forty as a Volunteer Firefighter/EMT, being flushed down the drain in just two and a half years! However, I was completely out of line in using your blogspace to vent my frustrations! Please forgive my transgressions. BTW, I am perfectly happy to coexist with anyone who doesn’t share my views, as long as they don’t try to force theirs on me! I do agree though, humans are wonderful creatures overall!

        2. No, I’m not a fascist, I am a freedom loving American, who is sick and tired of you Trump bashing “woke” a**holes who think our current regime is the best thing since sliced bread! At least Trump cared about American citizens more than the alien invaders Biteme is coddling these days! I didn’t serve twelve years in the U.S. Air Force to allow a senile puppet to unravel the fabric of American society at the direction of a cabal of billionaire Elitists!

          1. Oh dear Fred, I think we’re at the bye-bye stage, the paper-thin veneer of politeness has slipped off hasn’t it? Your hatred serves nobody, and military records are not a ticket for either ‘justified’ hatred nor the dealing out of unprocessed pain I’m afraid. I have zero doubts that you are trying to get it right (as we all are), and can indeed become kind and wonderful in life. But as we know, part of the paradox of the freedom of speech is that we must silence those ranting individuals who would silence others. So it’s time to zip it. This comment thread is now closed.

            Same goes for you ANTIFA, name-calling might feel good but the people who change cultures for the better tend not to need it.

            Let’s have a little cooling off and a think about our polarised words, shall we? Wonderful, well done everyone x

        3. If antifa means anti-fascist, then how can they support the most fascist regime since Mussolini in WW2? Do you even know what fascism is, or are you just parroting the regime’s fave buzzwords?

          1. Just a thought, aimed at both Fred and Antifa. Do you think this is the place for this ferocious hatred and extreme language? A place run by someone who creates comics that tell us about the dangers of extremism and constant argument? A place containing comics that ask us to understand and forgive? A place where the lesson surely is to love your “enemies” as they are just fallible beings, exactly like us? Can I suggest that you both try to move on?

  7. Well this is one website on which I would never have expected to encounter praise for Kari Lake. Maybe Liz T’s byline has something to do with it. Go figure.

    1. I have no idea who Kari Lake is and, judging from the comments, I’m not about to google it. Is this another person on a massive pedestal who no doubt secretly gets off to Mein Kampf, by any chance?

      1. You’ve got her pegged. Nothing at all admirable there. Be thankful you’ve never heard of her.

  8. I’ll look out for you in the hills, will keep some tiramisu about my person just in case xx

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