Hi everyone! How’s your 2026 going?! Mine’s going great. This month I went down a few pretty dark rabbit holes with my 3D rendering and potential new storylines and then I … took a few steps back, hehe. Ever notice that? That you can escalate in terms of the booby stuff you look at (and/or produce) and find yourself in a dark place? I totally do it now and then.
( . )( . )
I always found if I got totally free of online booby stuff (which tended to correlate with poor mental health seasons, and therefore something to step back from occasionally), my ‘onboarding’ system to get started with booby stuff again was always Instagram – it’s like an easy way to go ‘PHWOARR!‘ without feeling bad for objectifying humans. Then I’d get numb to that and move onto slightly more nudey sources, which soon enough got me onto more hardcore content.
And at some point we sort of blink our eyes and shake our heads and go “WOAH. What the hell am I looking at?!”
Anyway that’s my experience, and I know I’m not the only one. Why do we do that, eh? Go down rabbit holes and suddenly realise we’re up to our necks in shit we hadn’t intended on? Seems a pretty human thing.
Pretty human thing to go down avenues we hadn’t planned.
Pretty human thing to need some sort of ‘recognition of badness’ mechanism.
Pretty human thing to feel bad and take action to course-correct.
And we step back and take a look back down our path and see the minor objectifying/hateful little comment that started it all, and in the context of where we got to, it all seems pretty crazy! “Where’s his birth certificate?!” Hehe. “But her emails” hahaha! Good stuff.
But as I get older, I seem to get more familiar with these cycles that lead me into dark places, these onboarding moments. And though I still fall foul of them occasionally (and have to forgive myself and start fresh), it seems the methods of my failure are losing their grip on me. Like it’s not a perfectly circular cycle of failure, but more of an upward-travelling spiral, each return moving me gently towards an atonement that paints a larger meta-picture of a journey that is something I could never have predicted nor intentionally planned.
So yes, like some masturbating fifteen year-old, I do look at things I shouldn’t look at now and then, and that lead me into darker recesses, but it seems there is still a broader story going on. A calm and patient journey in the direction of something I can’t ever quite make out, but that calls to me, as a compass point will call to the mapless.
Maybe this is what it is to be alive; to make mistakes and to learn how to address them. And only those who refuse to learn find themselves on the spiral heading in the wrong direction. Discover in the mirror the real stunted images of the world. Perhaps they are the ones in hell, the ones who needed that parental hug the most. Hiding in lies and deception, perhaps a grasp for power is just a last-ditch scrabble for a feeling of something more solid than the cottage cheese upon which they’ve built the structures of their lives. A clutching, talons-dripping rip towards the always-distant promise of power-over-death.
Classic stuff. And as Tolkien pointed out, we all need political structures that take power away from those who desire it the most. Here’s a random castle scene.
No kings in this picture, are there? Not that I have a problem with kings per se; I mean as long as they understand that the role of the king is to represent abstracted sovereignty, not to wield any power other than holding a parliament to account; to serve and not to be served. If they understand that then I’m all for kings. King Charles; top bloke. King Putin; do one.
On a related note, I know I get a lot of visitors from the colonies Americas; do you ever wonder how America looks from across the pond? Roughly how it looks to anyone who’s studied the outbreak of the 2nd World War, I suppose. Sorry about that, but it’s not exactly a surprise, surely. We’ve been saying this since 2016; your lobe-first dementia guy was always going to try and do this; and now it looks like that last vote you had is very likely to be the last vote you’ll ever get.
The Oligarchs had this same disregulated function in the 1930s, the Gestapo worked like this too, they said and did precisely these things, and the thickies still stood back and applauded, clanging their ever-hollow cymbals as if this was the right path. They still clutched their ‘patriot’ merch and shrieked about some bollocks or other, as their neighbours and anyone who disagreed increasingly got offed in the night.
Some of us even bother to make erotic comics about the topic of trauma-sourced control hierarchies; with masked police forces and anonymous kidnappings and everything. Lovely, funny, booby comics read by tens of millions of people … about family issues and parental neglect and political hatred and using humans as mere resources and toxic ideas and the dead-end logics of capitalism, about hurt people hurting people … and did it help? Probably not. But there were some nice sex scenes in it, so you know. Swings and roundabouts.
… ahhh, the stupidity of flex culture and its correlation with violence. Here’s the good news, though: after our Tory party did the shittest job they could possibly do, we voted them out, and the party completely fell apart. They were a pretty Grand and a fairly Old party, too. Byeeee, you fucks. Hahaha.
But the cycle doesn’t quite stop there, does it? Even as we speak, as the UK licks its wounds from the chronic mismanagement of the past few decades, even as we watch markets re-stabilise and hospital waiting lists slowly go back down, our own clusters of the thickest people on the planet are busy thinking Farage might be a good idea.
Ooooh, he does say a lot of very nice things, doesn’t he? He can’t be bad, right? Wrong, dickheads. Farage barely even deserves his moniker of Poundland Trump, the man is clearly capable of caring for nothing larger than a Greggs chicken slice and is desperately in need of some psychological help. Ah well, we’ll cross that stupid bridge when we stupid come to it, I suppose.
And the more active among us will have to step in, as always, before it’s too late to vote for anything, and punch the Nazis until they are gone away. Because we simply want free healthcare, education and high standards of living; that’s not too much to ask for, surely. What we do not want is for everyone to be afraid of everyone else, we don’t want to pay obscene amounts of money to violent and lawless adolescents, and we definitely, definitely do not want the Murdochs to stay in charge of the media.
So this is the part of the global cycle we find ourselves in; the ‘find out’ part of the long-established ‘fuck around’ process. I believe we will learn to tax the rich properly one day. And if not tax them, I believe we may have to learn how to eat them.
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PS. if your comment is anything approaching a pro-trump/farage comment, then you’re either a disinformation bot (a few of which have noticeably commented on this website, particularly when I have a go at fascism), or at this stage, a [neo] Nazi sympathizer. Both options will result in your comment being edited for comedy, by me. Good luck! Did you actually vote for that stain? Then yes ☑️ you have been an utter cretin, fooled by opinion pieces and rage-bait.
But hey come on chief, don’t feel bad about it; we all go down dark rabbit holes from time to time; all part of being human. It’s just that, as the paradox of free speech suggests; it is those who would silence all ‘others’ who must themselves be silenced.
So take a step back and change your sources of news, quickly, before the cycle of hatred takes your life as well. This is just me giving notice that if you keep going, you will start to lose your voice. Particularly on this free website xxx
PPS. Epstein. (just baiting the bots)
I am all too familiar with the dark depths of a rabbit hole.
But I also feel too small in the grand scheme of things. An insignificant being to be a force for change and only stand on the sidelines, watching possibilities for good go down the drain.
I fear for our future.
Can’t we just make cult around boobs, willies and bum bum’s?
It’s easy to feel insignificant when the culture of the time is so oriented towards power and the hoarding of wealth. I believe that nobody is insignificant and we are both changed by and change the world around us with everything we do. Also boobs.
Boobies and aggressive anti-fascism. This is my jam.
Well that’s my gravestone sorted x
And that’s my new email signature.
👌
Hmmm… don’t you find it patronising, to prejudge Pro-Trump people? I really like to hear a good argument in his favour. Still waiting since 2017.
But I have the advantage of the outside look. And I learned about the mechanics of democracy from 5th to 10th class in school.
And, taking a deep dive in history here, I understand why people vote for a populists. Whoever thought, they will lie to their face THIS wild (“I will fix heath care. It’s easy.”). And any opposition might be lying. Have you listened to the opinion hosts on MSNBC? I mean…I’m on their side, but the permanent mocking, before they finally present their point. Do they really think a Republican will watch this for even 3 minutes? And if they only speak to their audience…how do they even make an impact. Or change somebody’s opinion?
My theory is, that every dictatorship will fail, if not upkept by lethal force (like Iran, Tian’anmen in China and others). Regimes tend to lead by yes men. They overestimating themselves. After Hitler took Poland, he was confident, they can conquer Russia. I don’t know if they did not seen a map of Russia before… . It’s…big. But the literal assumption was, “We kick in the door and the house falls apart.” Yeah…not even close.
So, I think Mark Carney in Davos made an excellent (!) job and Alexander Stubb from Finland had put it into great context.
The more important question is, how will it end, if the “middle powers” just “walk away” from the US. Will there be a change in politics? Will they even think about making their democracy more robust? I’m not worried about President Trump. I’m worried about the next 10 Presidents. If it’s so easy for a President, to dismantle the US democracy within 12 month…you have to change big! Or you can’t be trusted anymore.
And to spread a little hope, here are some examples (google the details yourself):
– Canadian travels to the US dropped by 30% after Trump want Canada as the 51th state
– The EU established the “SAVE” program to help purchase Mil.eqipment. Now Canada, Türkiye, South Korea and JAPAN want to participate and want to buy European Equipment, locking out the US.
– After 25/20 years the EU finalized deals this South America and India…nice signal.
– During NATO training in Norway (“Joint Viking 2025”), the Finland RESERVE forces were asked to keep it slower, as the defending US troop had problems with mobility and defending in arctic climate (Ref: British Times)
– We are more. Count the numbers. EU, Canada, Japan, Australia and so on. The US on it’s own, is not sustainable.
Yes I rather enjoyed Mark Carney’s work. And I agree the US on its own won’t work very well, the question is will the electorate manage to wake up enough to notice they’ve been fooled into locking themselves in the prison of fascism? I’d prefer it if one of the richest countries on the planet didn’t become a total mob boss -ruled police state, that would be rather tiresome.
I love it! You are soooo British! “Oh dear. A dictatorish state…how tiresome.” 🙂
I have a deep dislike of demonizing the “other” in any context really. It’s been ingrained in me since, well, since I’ve had a sense of self I think.
I may not disagree with your estimation of “their” character. It’s probably all too accurate. But, it makes me uneasy when I start hearing “Hey, them over there, they’re all bad. Every one!”
Especially from people I respect and tend to nod along with when they are espousing “The Truth”.
What I really fear though, (and I mean that kind of terrifying, “Don’t Want To Look At It, Never Want To Think About It” kind of backbone horror) is that you might really be on to something. That you might be right.
It makes me very sad. Makes me just stop moving because suddenly everything is too heavy. I cry and can’t stop and realize it’s an ocean of tears I’ve been trying to bottle up. My breath will come in gasps and my hands will tremble and I will not be strong enough to stand.
The feeling of cognitive dissonance is overwhelming. I cannot reconcile that which I am being told is the “truth” with the objective truth I can see and hear. And it does seem as if there is a growing number of people that are eating that shit and praising the fine taste and exquisite scent as they shovel in into each others mouths.
I have no suitable conclusion to this. I’m sorry…
Not sure I should hit the “Post Comment” button but I will anyway.
Thank you. I certainly agree we should not demonize the ‘other’, and that we’re ALL extraordinarily precious; but I do believe we need a function wherein we are able to punch Nazis. Jesus fought people … for people. Mike in my comics says “I am fighting you … for you” for the same reason; we do not curse people but we DO need to be able to challenge them.
And sadly [incredibly sadly as you’ve expressed], sometimes that may ultimately mean physically challenging them; that was what it took to stop the Gestapo from ‘cleansing’ the face of the Earth. Just because they happened to start with Jews doesn’t mean it would’ve stopped there; they were also going after Aboriginals, black people, disabled people … and they were just going for it, improving systems, accelerating their program day by day under the name of the ‘law’. It had nothing to do with immigration really; their vision was one of a single master race, and it was an idea that scared and corrupted people to the core. People started to think “I have to join them or I am going to die” – precisely the sort of hypocritical bollocks coming out of Elon Musk (eg. https://www.independent.co.uk/bulletin/news/elon-musk-tommy-robinson-speech-b2826131.html etc etc) and other Oligarchs looking to cash in on violence and chaos.
It is overwhelming because it has been over complicated and sullied by nasty media coverage in all directions – really what’s going on is very simple. As the paradox of real free speech suggests; it is those who would silence all ‘others’ who must themselves be silenced. That’s it. And there are precious few at the heart of all this who really want to silence all ‘others’, it’s just they just seem to be the richest, accelerating a cult of power, hehe. Bless their little heads.
As your Mr Rogers says; when you’re feeling overwhelmed, look for the helpers; there’s been some lovely stuff coming from the national guard, for example. People are worth fighting for; we all know this.
Thanks for the kind words. I can (quite literally, I think) feel your generosity of spirit as I read them.
I know that you’re not really looking to demonize or silence whole sections of humanity. But as you point out, there are people out there who really are trying. I just hate to see any of that reflected by someone reasonable and “sane”. Even if it’s only a little bit…
But, that aside, I very much appreciate the care and consideration you show for your fans and commenters (of which I am now both).
It’s still a hell of a world out there but I do feel a little better now. Thanks for that.
Mr. Rogers said a lot of things that made sense, and sense is what I like making most.
Oh, and I really think he’s more “Our Mr. Rogers” if anything.
👍
“My Mr. Rogers”? Wow. Slow your horses! I’m from the EU.
And you have good points!
Also, I love context! Let me give you some: Populists always work the same. They make up a problem, or they show you the problem. And then they tell you how’s fault it is.
Same with the Nazis. Between 5.5 and 7 million Jews died or were killed in WW2 (depending how you count). 14 million people were killed in the concentration camps. There is a gap. The Nazis filled it with everybody who was “unwanted”. Members of the communist parties (who got 1/3rd of the votes in the first election after WWI), polish people and other ethnic groups (a.i. roma and sinty), artists, disabled (fact: Germany by today has the lowest percentage of disabled) and any opposition they could find. Easy place “to drop your problems” (and if by this sentence you have a weird feeling in your stomach… that’s on purpose!).
The BBC has a (4 part?) documentary, “Rise of the Nazis” which you can find in their library if you are located in GB. It shows how easy it was to dismantle a democracy and partially how naive people where.
If the rule of law leaves the building, there can’t be justice.
The people you have to get, are the bystanders. They are not really interested, they are not really informed. The only get some Fox News pieces. But they take their heads up for a Reenee Good and Alex Pretti.
Then they make the difference.
Sorry to bother, but with democracy I really get in the 5th gear…
Yeah when I said “Your Mr Rogers” I was replying to B’s comment 🙂
We all need to realize that our species is flawed. And that we, as individuals of that species, are likewise flawed.
Humans can achieve truly great things and also sink to the most abject depths of reprehensible behavior. The difficult part is trying to understand how that is possible. How can someone who voted for Obama also have voted for Trump? Is their ability to discern their differences so clouded by the influence of others that they can’t see the differences, or are they just moving with the pack? Abe Lincoln’s famous dictum about not being able to fool all the people all of the time is still likely true, but you can sure fool enough of them to do some serious damage.
The recent events in Minnesota seem to suggest, to the surprise of no one who’s been paying attention, that it’s alright to run roughshod over the poor, the mistreated, and the underprivileged and even to kill a lesbian mom, but if you kill a white, gun-toting male you are in for some serious trouble. But perhaps that’s what it takes to wake up the slumbering, easily-fooled masses. We can hope it’s not too late.
Yeah, and I really feel for those who have suffered violence like this their entire lives because of the colour of their skin. I witnessed racial segregation first-hand just 20 years ago in America, and was completely dumbfounded by what I saw, it felt like visiting the 1950s. There does seem to be a bit of a ‘how-do-we-treat-humans’ and an ‘is-there-a-master-race’ undertone to all these things, but I certainly hold hope that there’s a broader arc going on that’s leading somewhere profoundly good; where humans really honour each other and all people can have an equal crack at life.
I’ve been working to crowbar myself away from my liberal hiding place, to try to return to more centrist views. Not to seek balance, but to instead to not through out ideas simply because of the source.
What has Trump done?
1. He clearly showed how the US democracy has been running on a “wing and a prayer” for far too long. That too many of our “laws” are nothing of the kind when blatantly challenged.
Case in point, we OBVIOUSLY have many decades of way too much legislation written in the worst way possible, largely without guardrails or implementation guidance. Too much relying on “custom” and “trust” and “handshakes”, rather than well-defined boundaries.
2. He clearly showed how to make the Legislative branch nearly meaningless.
This was most evident with the “One Big Beautiful Bill”, a titanic omnibus that was specifically crafted to prevent dissection, analysis and debate. Use that brief window of total control over a thin majority to wreak havoc.
3. He clearly showed how powerless our courts are, once the “Gentleman’s Agreement” is stripped away. Courts are slower than Congress, and lack dedicated enforcement powers, instead relying on the Executive Branch.
This is directly from Big Tech: “Move Fast and Break Things”. Keep challenging any and all boundaries, pushing on them until they yield, and maybe break. If they do prove more resilient than expected, there’s always the famous “TACO” move! (Trump Always Chickens Out.)
Congress is in a state of paralysis, where it can’t/won’t pass laws to restore balance between the branches of government. Hopefully, the mid-terms will start the change, but Congress will need to override Presidential vetoes to institute ANY real change. I don’t see Congress ever reaching the 2/3 majority needed to overturn a Trump veto during the remainder of Trump’s term.
And that’s ignoring ALL the international stuff. The post-WW2 military and economic “Pax Americana” has been proven to be an illusion, born of weak treaties and even weaker handshakes. Which makes Ukraine even more important in pretty much every way possible. Which is forcing the EU to put on it’s “Big Boy Pants” when it comes to self-defense and coalition-building. As well as forcing Taiwan and Japan to reassess their own situations.
Sure, there is much to be concerned about. I recommend seeking respite, space and balance with some meaning-laden boobalicious porn comics. Works for me!