I suppose when writing something like a journal, we bring into the real, the depths of our struggle. And so when we write stories (or paint pictures, whatever), we’re conjuring something of an avatar of ourselves into the real; cos that’s where the processing can begin. And when it’s something dark, we seem to ‘art’ out the poison, writing becoming the tool that breaks the power of the unspoken dark thing and making it real and therefore more sort of … ‘there’. And once it’s there, it can be affected. The process hurts, but it’s also good.
And as our lad Tolkien points out, fantasy has an important role in our lives. In my 20s, I used to dismiss my love of scifi/fantasy as unimportant dreaming … but as a real adult now (and with training in Trauma care and MHFA and all sorts of things under my belt), I now understand the importance of our silliness and exploring these stories a bit more.
I’m not blowing smoke up my own arse here, I’m not saying my comics are somehow more special or worthy than any other; what I’m saying is one of the things I can forgive myself for is ‘wasting’ time with the ephemera of stories in the first place. Because it turns out; even if they’re shit stories; turns out it’s really important to explore them anyway.
And just as the stories can be avatars for ourselves, and can conjure the path we want to take in our lives …
… the stories themselves may explore the use (and misuse) of avatars/representational power struggles …
… as we process how coercion and control has had an effect on our lives. As we lift the curtain on the puppetmasters in our own lives. And just as we write about that stuff, it seems the chains held so deep will slowly, slowly, slowly come undone.
Leaving us clearer.
More able to see what’s been really going on. With our art. With our writing. With our fapping. With whatever it is that we’ve delved deep with.
And we can return to those early nonsenses we used to dismiss as too whimsical to mean anything, and appreciate them in a new way …
(and when we look back at our stories, in real life or expressed in art, there are just so many silly bits …)
Ahhh, life eh? Turns out the path to maturity is necessarily an immature path.
So if you’re feeling like you’re not adulting very well … that’s okay.
